hamishdee.com

I’ve had bad stroke of luck these past few weeks. It seems that my SAT scores which placed me in top 10% of American students 8 years ago would be considered merely average by todays standards. Well, standards is a misleading term because the only modern American standard is conformity, but the new 2400 scoring would place me squarley in the range of normal. My, how I’ve declined achedemically since droping out of high school!

Still, there’s a second bit of news that makes me glory in my decision. Back in my day, when we did homework the teacher gave it back to us drenched red ink with comments, such as “Good Work!”, “Incorrect”, “Seek Psychiatric Help!!!”. This was the way the world operated and we were content with it.

No more. Some hyperoverprotective parents and progressive teachers decided that red is really too harsh a color, and might damage the young students profoundly delicate self esteems. Aww, my ass bleeds for these youngsters! So what did these pseudothinkers decide to do? Why, we’ll use purple instead!

Ok, so you want to use purple instead. Let’s look at these purple scenarios by the local idiot boy, Tommy:

1) 1+5 =
Answer: 14
(Techer’s comments in Purple) Excellent work, but needs improvement!

2) Who was the third president of the United States?
Answer: Marco Polo
Super job, you repeat the third grade! Terrific!

As you can see, any manner of reenforcement, whether positive or negative, is out. Evidently, we’ve decided shameless patronizing is better for the psychological well-being of our children. Because nobody is really evil, they’re just bipolar.

Beyond a certain age everybody should be responsible for their own actions, and the education system is currently going to great lengths to hinder any sort of preperation for that reality. I personally want to see responses like, “Stupid Answer!” and “Do Better!” on returned homework. In the long run, it is more merciful because students will go to great lengths to either get it right or learn to support their answers. At the very least, it would dismantle the rampant self-delusion that is so overwhelmingly common these days (Book Reccomendation: Fight Club).

I predict that in 20 years time, after all the kids that currently see purple have gone through the system, we will see complaints about purple ink and how stressful it is for our kids. Hey, why evaluate students at all? Just tell all children that they’re a perfect gift from heaven and send them directly to prison once they graduate.

Ok, it’s February 18th ‘06 and today I walked onto my university campus and saw old glory flying at Half Mast. It’s a sign of the times when we no longer consider this signifcant. We even get the occassional upside-down flag today, but usually the only reaction is by some passerby who says, “Some idgit flew that there flag crooked.” In fact, with the startling rise in our ‘moments of silence’ by 2020 expectations are that we’ll be a nation of hatless mimes with a 4 day work week, or French if you prefer.

I had little else to do today, so I checked CNN.com to see what our nation was mourning this time, and it seems we have options. So here are the tragedies of the day giving their argument for why they are the worst:

Mudslides in the Phillipines that kills 1,000: I clearly am the winner because of loss of human life. That New Pompeii never knew what hit it. I swallowed up an entire village, and that is clearly why I’m the days biggest tragedy.

Argument against: True it is a sad case, sporting nearly quadruple digits, but these are foreign lives we’re talking about. It’s not really something we concern ourselves with in the US. Besides, we don’t really like numbers that rival our precious 3,000 dead on 9/11. It make our agressive foreign policy seem unjust.

New and Deadly Riots in Pakistan, Nigeria and Libya over the insulting cartoons: We are clearly the biggest tragedy because it is a sign of hatred towards the Occidental from the East. There are also the violent deaths resulting from something that seemed so harmless at the time.

Argument against: This isn’t a tragedy. This is justice. The world is getting smaller and more crowded everyday, and any small spark like this can start a raging fire. Denmark, France, Italy and the other offenders acted without consideration, comprimise or respect, and they shouldn’t whine the first time they actually see the consequences of their ethnocentrism. Besides, it’s taking the heat off the US for a little while.

Record Powerball Jackpot: Isn’t materialism tearing away at our very souls?

Argument against: No. Shut up. Though we are a God-fearing, Christian nation and we all have souls and care deeply about our fellow human beings, our actions should not in any way reflect our core values. That would be vanity.

9 Oil Workers Kidnapped in Nigeria: 3 of them were American.

Argument against: You win! Every American life is precious. Unless they are US soldiers, in which case they are martyrs and we should envy them. One of them was from the Phillipines too, so it’s a sort of courtesy nod towards the mudslide.

There are more, like Hamas making the US look stupid (we don’t need your help, thanks), or the malicious birds and their silly flu: http://www.ephotozine.com/gallery/showlargepic.cfm?photoid=420773 , but my hands are tired. The point is that we need to start lowering our flag by another half for every individual tragedy. It’s sad that it’s come to this, but just like achilles who couldn’t catch the tortoise: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zeno_paradox , our flag will never reach the ground. Thus, we can remain hopeful, as our star-spangled banner does sway.

Au Revoir

David Irving has been sentenced to 3 years in prison by Austrian officials for publically denying that the holocaust ever took place. A couple of notes though, he made the denial in 1989 and recanted in 1991. The only fathomable explaination for this cruel and unreasonable punishment would be to prove that humans can, in fact, be cruel and unreasonable. Point taken, Austria.

In the world today, there is a surgence of “Directed Democracies”, that is, a system that encourages people to have and express an opinion through freedom of speech, but punishes people for having and expressing the “wrong” opinion. It is happening in Palestine, as well. In a fair and democratic election, the people voted in Hamas. The US, Europe and certainly Israel don’t like Hamas, and all have declared that the Palestinians again have the wrong opinion. So all three are taking steps to ensure a continuation of war, hatred and bloodshed. (Just because an official is elected in one country doesn’t mean he isn’t be a dictator in another, generally speaking)

There are billion of people living on this tiny orb, and the only way we can hope to curb our agressive and hateful nature is through flexibility and compromise. The majority has decided against that. Still, I’d like to propose a general disarmament. Not of guns, so much, but more of opinions. Honestly, my views on the world have never brought me joy, but I’d never adopt the opinions of the politicians or the dull masses. So let’s talk deal, eh?

David Irving has been sentenced to 3 years in prison by Austrian officials for publically denying that the holocaust ever took place. A couple of notes though, he made the denial in 1989 and recanted in 1991. The only fathomable explaination for this cruel and unreasonable punishment would be to prove that humans can, in fact, be cruel and unreasonable. Point taken, Austria.

In the world today, there is a surgence of “Directed Democracies”, that is, a system that encourages people to have and express an opinion through freedom of speech, but punishes people for having and expressing the “wrong” opinion. It is happening in Palestine, as well. In a fair and democratic election, the people voted in Hamas. The US, Europe and certainly Israel don’t like Hamas, and all have declared that the Palestinians again have the wrong opinion. So all three are taking steps to ensure a continuation of war, hatred and bloodshed. (Just because an official is elected in one country doesn’t mean he isn’t be a dictator in another, generally speaking)

There are billion of people living on this tiny orb, and the only way we can hope to curb our agressive and hateful nature is through flexibility and compromise. The majority has decided against that. Still, I’d like to propose a general disarmament. Not of guns, so much, but more of opinions. Honestly, my views on the world have never brought me joy, but I’d never adopt the opinions of the politicians or the dull masses. So let’s talk deal, eh?