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The work weeks are 6 days long, so I’m forced to make the most of the time off I do get. My first I spent in the National Museum, even spending the extra 3,000won on a PDA of the museum. It was nice enough, but for my second day off I had to up the stakes considerably. I took a tour of the DeMilitarized Zone.

If you were to describe the political atmosphere between the Koreas and their neighbors as volitale you’d be making an understatement. There was an exchange of gunfire between the Koreas at the DMZ not 5 days ago and, though I laugh about it now, I considered postponing the visit in light of it. There were to be 3 teachers from the United States at the English camp, but the other 2 backed out, citing cowardace. But in a day-to-day context, the stress of political climate is invisible. Though it’s one of the world’s largest city, I would consider it one of the safest. You leave your shoes and umbrella outside the door, but no one will take them. You can sleep in the park and you won’t be robbed or harassed. The only problem a foreigner might face is from a drunk man on the subway, but I’ve been repeatedly met with geniality, even from the drunk, and I wouldn’t hold a population responsible for what an isolated business man might say under the influence.

I met my guide at a subway station. He was a thin youth wearing glasses and a white t-shirt. Together we picked up a German that, like me, looked like an aging backpacker. However, he was there for a meeting with a client at Samsung and he was using his only available day to take the tour. The roads along the way had barbed wire on the north side and military outposts were seen at regular intervals. The fencing had large rocks placed inside, designed to drop if someone tried to climb over. We drove for an hour before reaching a small amusement park. I thought it was a peculiar start to an experience that my guide book described as sobering. Then again, the rides were closed. Vacant amusement parks are a bit sobering. There we walked on the freedom bidge, where many come to hand flags and pray for unification of the two Koreas. There are flags, photos and crosses hung on a barbed wire fence at the end. I’m not sure why, but I was a little surprised to find such sentiment from the south. Koreans are under the impression that unification would make both sides stronger, but evidence suggests that the opposite is true, at least for the south.

The 3 of us boarded a red, tour bus with a few other tour groups, most were Japanese and Korean, but there were 2 other white faces in the back. We drove to an outpost where military personel checked our passports  and wave us onto a bridge that had spiked, yellow blockades on each side of the road, so we had to zigzag down the road to avoid them. The roads were worn on the wiggly path, meaning the bloackades had been in place for some time. We arrived at another parking lot shortly. We visited the DMZ theater first.

The movie was shown on 6 screens, and we were given headphones for English translation. The openning scene was a melodramatic warzone with a little girl crying as bombs exploded around her. My German companion and I exchanged dubious looks. From there, the film goes on to eplain that seperation is bad because it seperates families and unification is good because it brings them together. Then a magical butterfly flys through the warzone and turns minefield signs into park benches, and muddy trenches into parks. Fin. My German companion and I restrained our laughter, and I politely told the guide I thought the film was a little optimistic.

We crossed the paking lot into the 3rd tunnel, one of four tunnels that were discovered from North Korea that were intended to be used in invasion. The tunnel was roughly 5 feet high, but the guide warned us not to hit our helmeted heads against the ceiling, as there may be land mines above. Having walked the tunnel, I think it was a joke because everybody hits their heads several times in both directions. Then you react by saying, “Oh, damn.” and then you duck and cover. In the end, it was as ordinary a tunnel as one could find, but the cool interior, 72 meters below ground, was a welcome break from the hot and humid weather above. When we exited, all of our glasses fogged up.

Next we went to the DMZ, which in effect wasn’t in the DMZ because people aren’t allowed. We were at an outpost overlooking the DMZ and North Korea, and there’s a famous view of the North and South Korean flags on opposing towers, flapping in the wind. There was a yellow line painted across the ground, and that was the point beyond which we weren’t allowed to take photos. Somehow they believe we would abuse photos of the DMZ and North Korean topography, but whatever. We looked at the landscape for a half hour before, moving on.

Our next stop was a train station built to take trains between Seoul and Pyonyang. One could say that it bordered on the delusional, but it would seem like a bad pun. Bush gave a speech there in 2002, which was posted along the wall. That they would spend so much on an elaborate train station shows comittment to unification, but who knows when or if it will come to pass.

We drove back to town and stopped at a completely unrelated Amethyst store. Our guide apologized in advanced for the stop, but we understood and just laughed about it. We took the elevator to the third floor and woman in a leisure suit dress greeted us, and prompted us to enter. She gave an introduction to the grading of amethyst and showed us glass cases full of stones. We tried not to laugh because the two of us were obviously not in the market for jewelry, but they persisted. Eventually we snaked away. Our guide was painfully embarrassed, but again we told him it was okay. When we got back in the elevator and went to the first floor, the elevator jumped, the lights dimmed and the blowing air died. My German friend said, “Maybe we should have bought their Amethyst.” When we stopped laughing we hit the emergency button, and the guide argued with a man on the speaker phone. Within a few minutes, we were out and that was the end of the tour.